Ever feel as though no one saw you, no one understands you, no one really cares?
Ever feel like you don't care about what others think of you, that it doesn't matter what they say?
Ever feel that even though know one knows who you really are that you were perfectly content with that fact?
I feel like that often, as I sit in class each day and I contently do my work by myself, with little commentary from those that are my peers and friends or when I sit in my room each day when I get home. Its as though I was everyones imaginary friend, perfectly happy to be left alone most of the time. Silent as always until one of them talks to me on the few occasions that they do throughout the day.
Do I feel ignored? Sometimes,yes, I wish that it was more then it is and that I would have a deeper connection with the people that I care so much for.
Am I sad that they do this to me? Truthfully, I don't think that I could be if I wanted too.
This little act we play as friend and imaginary friend is perfect for someone like me, who loves to be alone and loves to be with people at the same time. It means that I can always be around the people I care about without them having to worry about me. It gives me the space and privacy that I love to have, and the right amount of interaction with people to keep me from losing my mind.
I am the strong silent type, the one that will always be there in the end no matter what happens, the one that no matter who else leaves because they can't handle whats doing on will push forward through all the confusion and stress to help the ones I care about in their times of weakness and sadness.
My friends, most of them, are the type to drift here and there and not know what they are doing half of the time and don't really understand everything that goes on around them. Sometimes they need someone to tell them whats going on so that they don't get lost in the world they live in.
That is what I'm for I suppose. I'm the voice of reason among us, the one to know most of whats going on so that at least someone isn't confused. Just like an imaginary friend, I am the one they turn to when know one else has the answer that they are looking for or simply when they need someone to talk to that will never tell their secrets to anyone.
I'm happy to be there for my friends, even if I am only imaginary to them.
